Different Abilities. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!

You don’t understand and I don’t know how to explain it to you. But let me start by saying I am me. Me is many things. Me is a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, and a person. What do I strive to accomplish in this life? I strive to make my children’s lives easier and happy. I strive to be better person tomorrow than I was today. I strive to accomplish the goals I have set for myself. I fight for what I believe in, I cry, I laugh, I love, and I hurt. I love to color with my kids. I love to talk to my husband and my friends. I love to see my children laughing and playing and happy like children are supposed to be!
But in the long run my children are not like any other children; they are special, just like all children should be. They have special abilities and special characteristics. They give the best hugs and when they tell me “I love you mom,” I just melt. So how can I explain to them why you all are so mean to them? Why you can’t find it in your hearts to help them in the ways that they need to be. How can I explain to them that you took an oath that said you where there for the children but that since they are not “normal” you don’t care enough to help them?
You say you understand where I am coming from, but you don’t. You have never been there. You don’t know what its like to wake up every morning and send your child to a place that makes them miserable. What kind of people LOCK a 5 year old little girl in a room by herself? You are monsters; I would never lock my own child in a room. And if it was your child I can bet that they would not be locked in a room by themselves. Do you ever look at these kids and think what would I do in their parent’s shoes? Or what would I do if this was my child? Or how would I feel if I was this child? The child that I carried in my womb for 9 months and went through hours of labor with, to bring into this world. Or the child that I sit with while they struggle to do their homework because they can’t see it, but nobody cares because they are not a “normal” child. They have disabilities, but in our house they are not disabilities they are different abilities, they are not stupid children, they can learn and want to learn and you are taking away the joy in their educations. Why?!? Because they don’t fit in your square little box!!!! Well did you ever think maybe your box should be octagon.
Nobody ever said that being a parent is easy. But it’s my job and I love my job, I love my children!! I would do anything for them; I wish I could say the same about you. I think you are all in the wrong line of work, as you have no compassion, no empathy and no patience. You are not loving people, you are uncaring and mean, plain and simple. How can you say that you are doing everything you can to help them? How can you go home every night and look at yourself in the mirror and know what you did to those kids? How can you feel good about yourself? How can you let them fall farther and farther behind and not help them? I have asked for help, but what do I get “oh we are trying.” Trying WHAT?!?! Trying to make things harder for them? Trying to make them hate school? Trying to make them cry when they get up in the morning because they don’t want to go to school? If that’s what you are trying you are doing an AWESOME job. But if you THINK you are trying to help them, and make things easier for them, you are sadly mistaken.
You know I honestly don’t even know what to say anymore. I am hurt. I am ashamed of the way that children with different abilities are treated. I cry myself to sleep when I think about what you are doing to my children. And when I try to express how I feel, what a joke, Oh ma’am we UNDERSTAND how you are feeling. But you don’t. Your pretty little text books can not tell you that my heart is breaking. It can not tell you that I am consumed by guilt every time I bring my child into your school, because I feel like I am dropping them into the lions den. It can not tell you that I make sure to be within reaching grasp of the phone so that I can grab it if I need to, incase you call to tell me you can’t deal with my child anymore. That you can not keep my child safe. Because that’s what it boils down to, you are not fit to provide my children with an education. You are not fit to get to look at their smiling little faces or hear their gorgeous laughter.
I cry as I write this. As my babies lay sleeping in the next room, me knowing that I have to wake them up tomorrow morning and send them back to the lion’s den. It tears me up inside, it gives me headaches on a daily basis, it eats me up. And so when you say you know how I feel, do you? Do you really know how I feel? Can you really put yourself in my shoes? Without your textbooks, flash cards and all your other fancy educational materials, can you put yourself in my shoes? I wish you did know how I feel, and how hard it is. But you know what else, I would never wish different abilitied children on people like you, they are special and it takes a special person to parent them and I don’t think you have it in you……